"How to win Friends and Influence People" is a best seller even today, a book that is timeless, and forever valid in nature. We may not have even considered that the first publication stretches back to even earlier roots: it was published in 1936.
When discussing success, it does not simply focus on the successes that can be achieved in the world of business, it interpretes success holistically, and as such success is seen as an entire life’s achievement.
The secret of this book lies in its deep and positive content, in addition to the almost tabloid-style provocative phrasing and message. Small examples and little tricks are listed as suggestions for the enrichment and enhancement of human relations. These are for example frequent breakfast in bed for married couples or the effect of letters that „work wonders” with the secret of a favour asked from the receiver, highlighting their importance, or emphasizing the importance of smile epitomizing the power of compliment. He also emphasizes the reflexive result of help offered to others, which has the power of influencing whole lives; and also advises always focusing on common interest and standpoints when dissolving a dispute.
Also shares important thoughts about realising mistakes, acknowledgement and also apologising for mistakes, emphasizing the use of a smile, attentive listening and the power of altruism. He writes about the distinction of compliments and acknowledgements from flattery.
What is flattery? As he defines, it is a selfish compliment that is empty, "cheap", often unfounded and never used without purpose. It is something that doesn’t come from the heart and that targets what the other wants to hear. It is manipulative in nature, as it is expected to be returned and compensated later.
Compliments in contrast are direct and honest, that stem from the heart. Acknowledgements are selfless, are well founded, sincere appreciations, which we always welcome, yet often accept too bashfully. Yes, we often tend to shy away from compliments, when we get them face to face.
Even though, me must learn to distinguish acknowledgement from empty flattery, indeed we must learn to accept this with a simple „Thank you” as he says.
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